i gots tape worms

I am a math tutor. So, every 1st block on A-days, I get to help kids with their homework and help them study. It's really stressful, but also really fun, because there are some Calculus students that come in and we get to talk derivatives and what not.
I have my 'regulars.' I look forward to them because they aren't my own, but I've gotten to know them pretty well already over the course of the school year.

Here's a conversation between some of my Algebra 2 boys that come in:

Boy 1: You're a wrestler, you probably get ring worm or a staph infection or something
Boy 2: Nah, man, that's gross.
Me: Well, hey, at least that's better than tape worms, right?
Boy 1: No, I think I got those
Me (laughing): What? You do not have tape worms.
Boy 1: Yes, I do, I seriously think I have tape worms.


Anyway, I find this conversation really funny, because, well, I'm pretty fascinated tape worms. The idea of them are really gross, but I was really curious once in college and I ate one...No, actually, I just did a bit of research on them. Enough about worms.

Week in Review

This week I:

learned the word "Hermbes" (pronounced "herms") means "greatly struggling" and can be used in a phrase such as, "Ms. Ebberts, I'm hermbes-ing right now."

claimed September 14th was "National Cheese Product Day" and that I wore Pancake scented deodorant (and my kids believed me)

ran with a pile of mud on my head.

was chased (and attacked) by former students with shaving cream.

played a dice rolling game where the loser had to take 2 Ex-Lax pills before they went to sleep.

Just a typical day at school:

boy: Uh, Ms. Ebberts, how come your shoes never match your outfit? (khaki shorts and a green Rock Bridge t-shirt)
me: You don't think this matches? I like my colorful shoes (red peeptoe flats).
boy: no
me: You'll find that I don't really own a normal color of shoe. I like to mix it up.
boy: So, can we buy you some new clothes?

[sidenote: after class, I learned this student intends to go college for fashion design. So, I suppose he was justified in his inquiries]


girl: ms. ebberts, do you know how to get crisco out of hair?
me: hmm...no...why? do you have crisco in your hair?
girl: yeah, some boy put it in my hair while we were playing volleyball last night.
me: well, let me go look it up.

SO, while my kids were working on graphing stuff, I go to my desk and google: "how to get crisco out of your hair." and wouldn't you know, there are answers: baking soda and water or apple cider vinegar. I then proceeded back to the girl and decided to sit down at her group. I proceeded to tell my students about my own experience of conditioning my hair with mayonnaise. it was quite the bonding experience.

I'm 24

So, my students like knowing how old I am. They ask. I usually respond with, "How old you think I am?" I've mentioned this before last school year and I usually will get responses between 27 and 35. But, I'm revisiting the issue because today was an especially funny "Guess Ms. Ebberts' Age".

Well, my new students start yelling (literally) out ages. I, of course, have no reaction to any number they say.

boy:"Will you tell us if it's too high or low?"
girl: "45"
me: "That is WAY too low"
other boy: "after you tell us your age, will you tell us your weight, too?"

Then, the light-bulbs go off in their heads: Ask Mickey. He had Ms. Ebberts last year, he'll know. (You see, he didn't pass either semester last year. I am the only teacher who teaches this particular course at my school, therefore, Mickey gets the privilege of being in my class again)

So, in my mind I'm thinking "Aw, man, the game's over. Mickey's going to tell them I'm 24." BUT then, I hear him telling his group members, "She's either 32 or 33. Somewhere in there." (and he's serious about this. I find this really humorous because Mickey witnessed several of these same debates last year in which I told them my actual age)

me: "Fine, Mickey, tell the class my age"
He does.
class: "So which one is it?! 32 or 33?!??!" (they really are yelling)
I just smile
class: "YOU'RE 32!!!!"

Now I'm laughing and continue back with the lesson.


Earlier on in the day:

me: "Do you all have any questions for me? Anything I can help you with?"
student: "Do you think chinchillas are soft?"
me: "Well, I don't know. I've never touched one. Martha Stewart grows them"
other student: "She grows them? From like a plant?"
me: "Well, I mean she raises them. They roll around in dirt and don't take baths or something like that"
another student: "Wait. Chinchillas grow on trees?"
me: "Yes. You've never heard of the chinchilla plant?"

school

Well, almost finished with full week #2 at school, and it's all a blur.
I'm getting close to knowing the names of all my kids, but there's still some that I find ways to avoid calling them by name (not good).

I cannot recall any memorable phrases from my new students. But, I did have one ask me to dance for the class today because he heard from my former students that I had 'cold moves.' I guess that's good? Anyway, my reply was, "You know, I just have to feel it, the moves just kind of come to me, and I'm not feelin' it right now."

summer

Well, teacher meetings start tomorrow. I meet my new kids on Thursday. I am hoping my students will be funny this year so I can talk about them here.

Until then, here are some of my favorite pictures of the summer:

my cat, gizmo. her favorite activities include sleeping and scratching people.


i tried to get a 'candid' photo of my brother and sister while we were out to eat.


i have never been good at snapping the headshots of me and another person.


my grandparents, pretty much the coolest people ever. i found out that my grandpa help the world record for 'most situps in a day' for 24 hours.


i graduated from cake decorating class. a good friend pointed out that the only 'diploma' of mine she's seen is this one. i made a bigger deal about this than getting my Master's degree.



I'm pretty pumped about this school year. I haven't really calculated anything all summer, so I'm ready. Plus, I think I have a new approach to looking at Geometric figures. Okay, I need to stop.

Summer Cake

When given the option to bring a side dish or a dessert, I'm going to bring a dessert. It's not that I can't cook, I just choose not to. I was invited to a cookout this weekend, so I wanted to bring something 'summery'. First thing that came to my mind: strawberry shortcake (that's summery AND patriotic, right?). I found a recipe from another blog that looked so good I just had a try it: Strawberry Shortcake Cake

here are some highlights of my baking experience

I sifted for the first time. I usually skip this, but I figured, go big or go home. ya know?

Isn't she (my mixer) a beauty?

The cake came out with a nice crispy brown outer, but yellowy fluffy inside.

I 'marinated' strawberries in sugar to use as a filling.

I made cream cheese icing for the first time. It was baller.
(I added 1/2 pound less powdered sugar than what the recipe calls for)

Finished product. The thing was LOADED with icing.

The strawberries soaked into the cake. It was mushy (but not a gross mushy) and marvelous.

Oh, and I got a new camera! Can you tell?