Wow. It's been a while!
Well, it's officially SUMMER!! I finished my fourth year of teaching, and BOY, do I LOVE IT!!!!

So, this year/semester were a whirlwind.

Here's what you need to know:
I convinced my second block class that I was a professional hand model before I switched to being a teacher. I even googled pictures of hands to show them.

It's been a while

Well, hard to believe we're into second semester! Wowee! Let me start by saying, I have no idea how me and my students get SO off topic, but regardless, it happens, and I embrace it and still find myself laughing daily at my kiddos.

Haven't been great about recording what they've said. But here are some funny happenings that I can remember from first semester:

Background info: there was a dead cricket in the corner of my classroom.
Student #1: Ms. Ebberts, there's a dead cricket over here.
Student #2: Why are there crickets in your room?
Me: How many of you are familiar with hunting?
(a few kids raised their hands)
Me: Okay, well you know how they spray deer urine around themselves to attract the deer?
Class: yeah
Me: Well, I sprayed the perimeter of my room with cricket urine, to attract crickets to my room.


Background info: Homecoming Week. The spirit day was "Purple." So, I used this opportunity to wear my purple panda sweatshirt and jeans
Student: Um...Ms. Ebberts...can I ask you a question? (in the middle of my lesson)
Me: Sure. What's up?
Student: Um...is that panda on your shirt giving birth?
Me: I don't think so. I think it's just eating bamboo
Student: Oh, okay, sorry. It just looked kind of weird.
For the rest of the class period. I could see my students' eyes darting towards the crotch of the panda on my shirt. It is kind of questionable from afar.

Back to School

It's that time of year again. Yep, that's right, it's time for "guess how hold Ms. Ebberts is" game.

Well, I never know how it begins, but someone always starts talking about how old I am.

I mainly got in the 30s. Lots of guesses for ages in between 37 and 32.

So, I decided to have a little fun...

Me: okay, I'll give you a hint. I was born before 1996 (which is the year most of them were born) and after 1963.

Class: WAIT! What?!

Boy (yells): that means she was baptized!

Then he looks directly at me and says, "right? Isn't like that the way that people say they have two births and are like reborn?"

I don't remember exactly what my response was but I know what I wanted to say: yes, you can be reborn through belief in Jesus. But I figured that probably goes against the whole separation of church and state, so I just laughed and did an example of applying linear pairs and vertical angles to the class instead.

Random quotes

Me: Have you guys ever seen Mean Girls?

Boys: No

Me: Oh, you should watch it, it's really funny. It's not a girly movie, it's for boys too.

Boy: Yeah, that's what my mom said about Steel Magnolias, too. She lied.

 

Boy: "Did you guys know Vietnam was an actually country?"

 

I'm standing in front of the classroom teaching:
Boy: Are you always this physically blessed when you stand in front of the room, Ms. Ebberts?


Girl: I'm going to set you up with this guy I know. He lives in Mexico and started an orphanage. I think you'll like him, he's REALLY Christian.

Spring Update

I ate a neon pink gummy bunny that tasted the way trash smells today.
After I spit the candy, I offered the bag of candy to one of my (former) students.He accepted, then convinced me to try a different color.
The purple ones taste like cough syrup.


Me and a few students got to talking about Pokemon in Geometry. So, I said something about Jiggly Puff and proceeded to teach. Well, this is first block, so sometimes the coffee that I have before school makes me say and do weird things. So, in the midst of giving my class notes, I turn to them in the middle of a sentence and yell, "PI-KA-CHUUUUUUUUUUUU"

Mid-winter Highlights

This semester has been a whirlwind. I know my kids have said TONS of really weird and funny things, I, unfortunately, have done a poor job at recording them.

Here are some things that I can remember and that are fresh on my mind:

1. Today I told a group of kids:
"You can practice licking your nostrils after you complete your work"


2. In 4th block Geo, one of my students (jokingly) asked: Why do you hate me?
My response? [pretending to read from a piece of paper] A reenactment of 10 Things I Hate About You when Kat (Julia Stiles) reads her poem about Patrick (Heath Ledger) to the class. You know, "I hate it, I hate the way your talk to me...But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even a little bit. Not even at all!!" I pretended to run out of the room crying.
Got a small applause from the class.


3. I teach an after school credit completion Geometry class until Spring Break. It's basically like summer school during the school year. It's kind of fun because it's a pretty random group of kids, so I've gotten to build new relationships, which is always a plus.

On Wednesday, I was helping a student at my desk, so I pulled over a chair. He went back to his desk, but sat on it instead of in a chair. I asked if he wanted his chair back. Here's what follows:

Student: No. I'm okay.
Me: Okay, well I'm going to put it by you just in case.
Student: What, every chair has a home?

So, (naturally) I begin to sing to sing to my student, "Every chair has its home" to the tune of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison. I included a little bit about how every desk has its own classroom.

Totally weirded the boy out.

Starting the new year off right

A boy talking about how Chuck Norris kicked an '8' and turned it into infinity distracts me so I say this to the class:

me: Nothing is impossible for Chuck Norris

Another boy: Yeah, well, what about stapling Jell-O to a brick wall while giving birth to a shark?!

I had nothing to refute that comment.