Week in Review

This week I:

learned the word "Hermbes" (pronounced "herms") means "greatly struggling" and can be used in a phrase such as, "Ms. Ebberts, I'm hermbes-ing right now."

claimed September 14th was "National Cheese Product Day" and that I wore Pancake scented deodorant (and my kids believed me)

ran with a pile of mud on my head.

was chased (and attacked) by former students with shaving cream.

played a dice rolling game where the loser had to take 2 Ex-Lax pills before they went to sleep.

Just a typical day at school:

boy: Uh, Ms. Ebberts, how come your shoes never match your outfit? (khaki shorts and a green Rock Bridge t-shirt)
me: You don't think this matches? I like my colorful shoes (red peeptoe flats).
boy: no
me: You'll find that I don't really own a normal color of shoe. I like to mix it up.
boy: So, can we buy you some new clothes?

[sidenote: after class, I learned this student intends to go college for fashion design. So, I suppose he was justified in his inquiries]


girl: ms. ebberts, do you know how to get crisco out of hair?
me: hmm...no...why? do you have crisco in your hair?
girl: yeah, some boy put it in my hair while we were playing volleyball last night.
me: well, let me go look it up.

SO, while my kids were working on graphing stuff, I go to my desk and google: "how to get crisco out of your hair." and wouldn't you know, there are answers: baking soda and water or apple cider vinegar. I then proceeded back to the girl and decided to sit down at her group. I proceeded to tell my students about my own experience of conditioning my hair with mayonnaise. it was quite the bonding experience.

I'm 24

So, my students like knowing how old I am. They ask. I usually respond with, "How old you think I am?" I've mentioned this before last school year and I usually will get responses between 27 and 35. But, I'm revisiting the issue because today was an especially funny "Guess Ms. Ebberts' Age".

Well, my new students start yelling (literally) out ages. I, of course, have no reaction to any number they say.

boy:"Will you tell us if it's too high or low?"
girl: "45"
me: "That is WAY too low"
other boy: "after you tell us your age, will you tell us your weight, too?"

Then, the light-bulbs go off in their heads: Ask Mickey. He had Ms. Ebberts last year, he'll know. (You see, he didn't pass either semester last year. I am the only teacher who teaches this particular course at my school, therefore, Mickey gets the privilege of being in my class again)

So, in my mind I'm thinking "Aw, man, the game's over. Mickey's going to tell them I'm 24." BUT then, I hear him telling his group members, "She's either 32 or 33. Somewhere in there." (and he's serious about this. I find this really humorous because Mickey witnessed several of these same debates last year in which I told them my actual age)

me: "Fine, Mickey, tell the class my age"
He does.
class: "So which one is it?! 32 or 33?!??!" (they really are yelling)
I just smile
class: "YOU'RE 32!!!!"

Now I'm laughing and continue back with the lesson.


Earlier on in the day:

me: "Do you all have any questions for me? Anything I can help you with?"
student: "Do you think chinchillas are soft?"
me: "Well, I don't know. I've never touched one. Martha Stewart grows them"
other student: "She grows them? From like a plant?"
me: "Well, I mean she raises them. They roll around in dirt and don't take baths or something like that"
another student: "Wait. Chinchillas grow on trees?"
me: "Yes. You've never heard of the chinchilla plant?"